It was an odd meeting when I first came across this person. She greeted me warmly in a college class. Seeing her brought back all kinds of memories from my own attire and demeanor from my less mature days in high school. Lofiel was her name. It was eerie, like seeing my own past self. Being a couple years older didn't seem to have any position here, as this mirror of a girl gave me a look into my life from years prior. She had the same obsessions I carried with me then, apparent through her anime-themed shirt and backpack, and the pile of manga she carried with her. She even had the same attitude towards authority as I could quickly tell from her tone towards the professor. Instantly the thought crept into my mind: there's no way I would ever want to have anything to do with this girl, she is beyond annoying. Yet something nagged at the back of my mind, and I realized that if she really was an image of my past self, she was just as lonely and emotionally desolate as I once was. I introduced myself, Shein, and against everything I wanted, I had invited her to meet some friends of mine, one of whom was someone who had themselves felt the same way about me that I felt about Lofiel right now.
She accepted the offer and began meeting up with us for our weekly get-together. Here, we talked a little about Jesus Christ and the impact that He and His followers have had, as well as very personal things that have happened in our lives because of it. I had been going for several months, but only recently started to take any of it seriously. However, even with that beginning to stir in my life, I was still torn between the life they described and the life I wanted, having a boyfriend and just having a good time. Lofiel seemed to have the same exact attitude that I had at first about the group, that they just talked some boring stuff but continued to come with us because she had nothing better to do.
The months passed by. I finished the class, and Lofiel dropped it. The boy I was seeing decided to go with a different girl, and somehow I wasn't really phased by it, like I could see it coming. In previous relationships, the breakup was either wrecking or just plain bitter. This time, however, it seemed to open a door instead of close it. It gave me the chance to see what I was doing from a third person view. I finally started to take on an honest search to find out what truth was and how it affected every choice I made and every day I lived. I realized at that point why I saw this new girl the way I did, and why my dear friend ever wanted to invite me to know her friends, despite having outright hated me in the past.
But that is enough about me. This story is about Lofiel. If you really want to get to know more about me, simply read on about this dear friend of mine and you will know exactly what my life had led to. Everything that she is going through is the same exact story that I had lived, and somehow from that first day we met and in the following months I began to see by looking into that living mirror exactly how my choices had affected not only myself but everyone who tried to help. In a way, that pain I placed on them has become my burden, because they tried so desperately to redirect me to a better path, and in my arrogance I pushed them aside. Yet now, I have to wonder if the pain I feel for this dear girl, who unknowingly hungers for the same truth that I've spent recent years pursuing, is the same pain they felt for me, or if it is even greater, knowing that all this time I'm seeing her descend into her own madness and conceit, that it stands as a reminder of the person that I once was.
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